Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.