I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
How to speak Irish: Whale Oil Beef Hooked Say them all quickly.
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
May: "Why did you slap me?!" Michael: "I didn't slap your face! I High fived it!" May: "I'm going to tell mom on you when we go to the sea side!" Micheal: "Uh, Shore you will." May: "Don't be such a beach."
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.