The best communication jokes

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, money, women
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, friendship
[first day as a pilot] Control tower: What's your location? Me: I'm in the cockpit. Control tower: I mean where is the airplane? Me: Mainly behind me.
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has 68.53 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: communication, travel, work
Doctor: "You look much worse than you did last week! I said you should smoke a maximum of five cigarettes a day!" Patient: "And that's what I did. And it wasn't easy because up until now I didn't smoke at all!"
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has 68.41 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, health, stupid
I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
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has 68.05 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, IT
Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?" And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, school, vulgar
A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first. The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job. The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it. The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it. She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, marriage, work
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water. I decided to tell the waitress. "This soup is awful," I said. "I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geek, internet, men
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