The best communication jokes

In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove. "Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?" "I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno." "I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history." "Do you have Shakespeare in English?"
Vote:
has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, dinosaur, stupid
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor? A: Long distance!
Vote:
has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, dinosaur
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
Vote:
has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car's hood. Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male........Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v. Female......A good movie, concert, play or book. Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding. 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
Vote:
has 56.41 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, football, marriage, technology
Let's walk and talk. You go that way.
Vote:
has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, travel
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
Vote:
has 56.29 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, little Johnny, teacher
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."
Vote:
has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, husband, nurse, stupid
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Vote:
has 56.06 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, food, love, teacher
<<<34353637
More jokes →
Page 34 of 45.