Do you know how Hitler tied his tennis shoes?
In little Natzie's.
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Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?"
And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
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A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
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Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!
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Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?"
Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
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When you have a question you check with Google.
When Google has a question they check with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a question everybody better run!
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Q: What do you call a baby Mexican?
A: A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!
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I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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