One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor? A: Long distance!
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?" Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?" And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.
Johny has lately written a short email to his brother while asking him only one question in this email: Hi brother, I am writing to you, I only would like to know, tell me: How is your fianceé? The Johny´s brother reply was only: Hi John, her brother is doing well.
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"