Two men were talking:
First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?"
Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Two Muffins were baking in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
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A professor and a doctor both love the same girl.
Each one tries to get rid of the other.
Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week.
Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there.
When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
A hunter was out with his dog Old Faithful when he sees a duck and shoots it down.
Old Faithful runs and brings his back the duck.
As the hunter reaches for the duck a forest ranger comes by snatches the duck out of Old Faithfuls mouth puts his finger in its ass pulls it out smells his finger and says
"This here is a Wisconsin duck, do you have a license to shoot Wisconsin ducks?"
The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Wisconsin duck.
The officer says "thank you, sir, have a great day and leaves."
The hunter then proceeds with Old Faithful when he sees another duck, takes as I'm and shoots it down.
Old Faithful runs grab the duck and come back.
The hunters about to grab the duck when the same forest ranger comes back, grabs the duck out of the dog's mouth take his finger puts it up the ducks ass, pulls it out smells his finger and says
"This is an Ohio duck, have you got a license to shoot Ohio ducks, sir?"
The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for an Ohio duck.
The officer looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, just doing my job, have a nice day," and leaves.
Well, this kept happening over and over.
Every time the hunter shot a duck and Old Faithful would bring it back, the Same forest ranger would be there to question the hunter if he had a license for all the different ducks he shot, and in his bewilderment seeing the hunter having all these different licenses for each duck.
Well on the last duck the hunter shot and Old Faithful bringing it back, the Same forest ranger comes and triumphantly snatches the duck out of the dogs mouth, takes his finger puts it up the ducks ass, smells it and says
"This here is a Canadian duck, have you got a license to shoot Canadian duck?"
Exasperated, the hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Canadian duck.
The forest ranger looks at the hunter and says, "you know sir, you've had a license for every duck you shot, tell me, where are You from?"
The hunter turns around, drops his pants, bends over and says, "You tell me! You're the Expert!"
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants?
A: Dick-tator.
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A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
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Joke has 54.76 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex