Do you know how Hitler tied his tennis shoes? In little Natzie's.
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?" And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor? A: Long distance!
Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?" Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
When you have a question you check with Google. When Google has a question they check with Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris has a question everybody better run!
Q: What do you call a baby Mexican? A: A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...