Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk." Friend 2: "What? White?" Friend 1: "No, expired."
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks: "what the hell is this". "It is called a cave" replied the mother. The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks "what the heck is this". "This is called little Johnny". The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song. He started to sing "when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants? A: Dick-tator.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
Johny has lately written a short email to his brother while asking him only one question in this email: Hi brother, I am writing to you, I only would like to know, tell me: How is your fianceé? The Johny´s brother reply was only: Hi John, her brother is doing well.
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A: A dino-snore!
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!