My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? A: A white guy can say "Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!" Johny: "I have no idea."
You mama so bugle one detection went the other derection.