Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants? A: Dick-tator.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?" The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A: A dino-snore!
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!
Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".