The best dirty jokes

Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
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has 73.73 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
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has 73.71 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, sex
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
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has 73.56 % from 524 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian, mechanic
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
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has 73.50 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, phone, sex, time
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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has 73.49 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, masturbation, sex
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 73.47 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
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has 73.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face. "What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord. "Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !" "Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord. "No ..." he says, "I never found the head."
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has 73.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup. While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup. While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup. This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?" The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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