The best dirty jokes

Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Vote: has 73.22 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
In the morning Little Johnny says to his father, "Daddy last night I had my first s*xual encounter." His father looks at him proudly and says, "When are you planniing to do it again?" "I don't know daddy ever since it happened my ass has been hurting like crazy."
Vote: has 73.03 % from 131 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
Vote: has 73.01 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
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A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
Vote: has 72.93 % from 172 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, mean, phone, sex, time
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
Vote: has 72.93 % from 143 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, sex
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.
Vote: has 72.92 % from 176 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, dirty, lesbian
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
Vote: has 72.87 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
A woman wants everything from one man. A man wants one thing from all the women.
Vote: has 72.80 % from 134 votes. Send joke:
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Three men were caught for murder on same day. Very next day they were produced in the court. After hearing all the arguments the judge decided to declare the verdict after lunch. It happened to be his wife's birthday that day and he had promised to not give death penalty on her birthday to anyone. After lunch judge announced that all the three accused will receive 500 lashes. Since it's almost a death penalty all accused were asked for their last wish. First one thought as nothing can save him now, wishes for noth ing. He is lashed 500 times all over his body. He was bleeding all over gasping for final breath and conciousness. When second person was asked for his wish he thought for a moment and said, "I wish that 10 pillow is tied all over me." Well, 500 lashes was given but he laughed all over as pillow absorbed all the forces of lashes. Now, The third person was called and asked for his wish. He looked around. He saw first person facing his death and counting his last breath and second person laughing at first person calling him idiot. He took some time and with deep breath said,"Tie second person over me. "
Vote: has 72.80 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, dirty, prison, time, wife
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
Vote: has 72.66 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex


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