The best dirty jokes

Pr*stitute in the police station. The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?" She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
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has 73.02 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life, wife
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, work
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown. He got a boner, so that was the end of him. Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him. This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner. So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
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has 72.96 % from 310 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom? A: I don’t know… ask your father.
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has 72.83 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
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has 72.81 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, gay
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
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has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 72.78 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
George W. Bush and Bill Clinton both decided to have biographies written about them. George called him "The Three Most Powerful Men - Bush, Dick, and Colon". Bill called his "Sex Between the Bushes"
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has 72.69 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, political, sex
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