The best dirty jokes

Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Pr*stitute in the police station. The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?" She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
Vote: has 69.95 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

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What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night? A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom. A barmaid at night is bare and...
Vote: has 69.93 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders. The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo". The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo". The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up. The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death." The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"
Vote: has 69.85 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? A: Better traction.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

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I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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