The best dirty jokes

A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
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has 68.44 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest. The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out. So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole. The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out. Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
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has 68.41 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, elephant
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
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has 68.37 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
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has 68.37 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
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has 68.30 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
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has 68.28 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, old people, sport
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: Cucumber, dirty people.
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has 68.17 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist” The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.” The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, doctor, love
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