The best dirty jokes

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, women
Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q? A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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has 67.47 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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has 67.46 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
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