The best dirty jokes

Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
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has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, dog
This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her to open it. At this point, she's confused. Maybe he's just a guy who thought better of becoming an anonymous donor and wants his sample back. She opens the safe like he commanded. The robber yells: "Now bring over that tray!" The woman does as he asks and brings the tray of sperm samples to the counter. As soon as the tray hits the counter, the menacing criminal makes further demands: "Now open that container and drink it!" The woman's gag reflex triggers. She barely manages to stammer out "that's disgusting! I won't do it!" Angered the man in the ski mask cocks the hammer on his pistol and repeats his command to drink one of the samples. The woman complies, he tells her to drink another, and another until the entire tray is gone. Once the last cup is finished the man pulls off his ski mask and goes: "See honey, it's not that fucking hard."
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
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has 66.36 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 66.22 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, mean, relationship, sex
The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?" The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?" And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but just don't smack me so hard."
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
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