Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.
A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?" His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!