The best dirty jokes

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, kids
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 66.36 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 66.21 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 66.18 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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has 66.00 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
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