The best dirty jokes

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
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has 67.29 % from 248 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 67.16 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her to open it. At this point, she's confused. Maybe he's just a guy who thought better of becoming an anonymous donor and wants his sample back. She opens the safe like he commanded. The robber yells: "Now bring over that tray!" The woman does as he asks and brings the tray of sperm samples to the counter. As soon as the tray hits the counter, the menacing criminal makes further demands: "Now open that container and drink it!" The woman's gag reflex triggers. She barely manages to stammer out "that's disgusting! I won't do it!" Angered the man in the ski mask cocks the hammer on his pistol and repeats his command to drink one of the samples. The woman complies, he tells her to drink another, and another until the entire tray is gone. Once the last cup is finished the man pulls off his ski mask and goes: "See honey, it's not that fucking hard."
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? A: He heard the snow blower coming.
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, weather
Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with? A: A dickhatership!
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has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Hitler, political
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