Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: Cucumber, dirty people.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"