The best dirty jokes

I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
Vote: has 68.18 % from 173 votes. Send joke:
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If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, dirty
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders. The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo". The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo". The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up. The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death." The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"
Vote: has 68.03 % from 141 votes. Send joke:
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A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak. In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the balls are just there for decoration.
Vote: has 68.00 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
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Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
Vote: has 67.93 % from 144 votes. Send joke:
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Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
Vote: has 67.90 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, time, travel


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