The best dirty jokes

What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Vote: has 62.10 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.
Vote: has 62.10 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote: has 61.93 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dirty, kids, party, white people
Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
Vote: has 61.91 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
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Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?" The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?" And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but just don't smack me so hard."
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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