Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.
Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.