John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed.
The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Kamasutra says:
If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called?
A: A Cock in the mouth!
Vote:
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night?
A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom.
A barmaid at night is bare and...
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
You are so selfish!
You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.