The best dirty jokes

A man goes into a library and asks where he can find books on suicide. ‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian. The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that section. It’s empty.’ ‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian. ‘They don’t often bring them back.'
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has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
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has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two friends talk: "Hi, what are you doing?" "Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card." "Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?" "No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, Valentines day
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 65.84 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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has 65.83 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar
Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
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has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, poems
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