Joke #8366

The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
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Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
Vote: has 45.52 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, life, men
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Vote: has 58.58 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper. A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately. On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy. When she entered the room she stood steal... She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room. "But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked. "Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
Vote: has 79.54 % from 124 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, husband, life, marriage
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Vote: has 76.55 % from 247 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: has 62.79 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, men, travel
Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
Vote: has 76.38 % from 136 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Vote: has 46.37 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
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Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Vote: has 81.77 % from 159 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, sex, work