Joke #8366

The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
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What do you give the princess who has everything? A seatbelt and an airbag.
Vote: has 24.05 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

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A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriends house and the girlfriend said to her mom, "Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room" and the mom says, "Ok honey, you kids have fun." When they are up their the mom hears: "Baby baby baby oh!" The mom walks to the door and ask, "What the hell is going on?" The girl says, "Mom were just having s*x." and the mom says, "Oh thank god I thought you guys were listening to Justin Bieber."
Vote: has 82.76 % from 390 votes. Send joke:

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A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"
Vote: has 83.14 % from 340 votes. Send joke:

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Vote: has 87.05 % from 2029 votes. Send joke:

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Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
Vote: has 20.21 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees!
Vote: has 57.92 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

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A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Vote: has 63.92 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

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A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
Vote: has 81.06 % from 1033 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, love, wife