The best dirty jokes

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist” The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.” The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
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has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, doctor, love
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
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has 65.62 % from 273 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, heaven, knock-knock, sex
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.
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has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Andy and Annie are watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, “My friends, I’d like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you.” Annie has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, Andy approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin. With a frown Annie says, “Andy, he’s talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead.”
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, vulgar, work
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