The best dirty jokes

Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Vote: has 66.25 % from 120 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fish
A shepherd goes to a television programme. A man of the viewers stand up and asks him, "What was the best day of your life?" The shepherd answers, "Well...the best day of my life was when I lost my donkey in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, i took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it." A second man of the viewers asks him, "And the second best day of your life?" And the shepherd, "Well...the second one was when in lost a sheep in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, I took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it." So, after that, a third man of the viewers stand up and asks, "And the worse day of your life?." "The worse day of my life was when I got lost in Cuccureddu's mountain..."
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates “Who was the first man?” asked Peter. “Adam.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Soon another man came along. “Where did Adam and Eve live?” ”Eden.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Then Mother Theresa came along. “Ooh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?” “Mmm, that IS a hard one.” “Enter.”
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, heaven
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Vote: has 66.09 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Vote: has 66.07 % from 210 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Vote: has 66.04 % from 86 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
Vote: has 66.04 % from 106 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, dirty
What did the two tampons say to eachother? Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
Vote: has 65.92 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
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Teacher: How we use the light? Pupil: To suck it? Teacher: Why do you say so? Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, dirty, food, money


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