The best dirty jokes

Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 66.34 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, marriage, wife
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave. When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
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has 66.27 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex
A father has three daughters that are all getting married on the same day. He asks his oldest daughter, ''Who do you wish to marry? She says, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest.'' He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest.'' He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same thing: ''Who do you wish to marry?'' She replies, ''I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!''
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 66.04 % from 305 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
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has 66.04 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, husband
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
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has 66.04 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, dirty, doctor, friendship
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