The best dirty jokes

Teacher: How we use the light? Pupil: To suck it? Teacher: Why do you say so? Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
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has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
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has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, poems
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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