The best dirty jokes

Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 65.57 % from 282 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, family, redneck, sex
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 65.45 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night? A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom. A barmaid at night is bare and...
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has 65.30 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 65.30 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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has 65.28 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 65.27 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
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