The best dirty jokes

There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
Vote:
has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, husband
Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Vote:
has 65.79 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Vote:
has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.
Vote:
has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Andy and Annie are watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, “My friends, I’d like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you.” Annie has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, Andy approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin. With a frown Annie says, “Andy, he’s talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead.”
Vote:
has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote:
has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
Vote:
has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
<<<50515253
More jokes →
Page 50 of 91.