The best dirty jokes

Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 66.17 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
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has 65.68 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, poems
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
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has 65.67 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, husband
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geek, internet, men
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
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