A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.