The best dirty jokes

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life, wife
There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please. The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions. The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence. The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have? The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have? The lady said potat. Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuck out of onions what do you have? "But there's no fuck in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"
Vote:
has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus, but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
Vote:
has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
Vote:
has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!” The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.” Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked. Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.” And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
Vote:
has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
<<<55565758
More jokes →
Page 55 of 90.