My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!"
The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me.
So I put my hand around my kid and told him
"Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men." 
The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus,
but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common?
Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel.
He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled"
The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Vote:
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
The crocodile told him, "Please let me go.
I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay.
I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".