The best dirty jokes

What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, family
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine. Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?" He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker".
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has 64.02 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
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has 63.98 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 63.97 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Man comes home to his wife and says to her: "With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh.t." "But I don't have a new pair of glasses..." she replies. "But, I do."
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has 63.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks: "what the hell is this". "It is called a cave" replied the mother. The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks "what the heck is this". "This is called little Johnny". The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song. He started to sing "when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, music, school, sex
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