Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Vote:
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs.
"That is something you're never going to talk about again.
And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth."
Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared.
One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married.
On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there.
"No," he said, "it's got teeth."
"Silly goose!" she said.
She spread her legs wide for him to see.
"See? No teeth!"
"Well, I'm not surprised," the man said.
"Not with gums like that."
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.