The best dirty jokes

Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
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has 61.53 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila. So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin. The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating? The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job. The bartender smiles and says I remember my first. The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, math, technology
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
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has 61.38 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
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has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, work
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
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has 61.33 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!" Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom. Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo! THE dad says "Shit!" So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day. Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!". So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting." All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
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