Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop?
A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language.
My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
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A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome.
Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys?
Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
I lost my virginity.
Can I have yours?
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.