If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
A father has three daughters that are all getting married on the same day.
He asks his oldest daughter, ''Who do you wish to marry?
She says, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest.''
He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question.
She replies, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest.''
He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same thing:
''Who do you wish to marry?''
She replies, ''I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!''
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common?
Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Pornhub is Down,
your mums Facebook will do.
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Vote:
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other?
A: Nothing. They have never met.
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote:
He came into my room late at night.
He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left.
It was terrible.
It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!