Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
On a pair of boxers:
Caution!
Contains nuts.
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff?
A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop?
A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.