The best dirty jokes

Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
has 59.51 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
has 59.46 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable. I just go up and down.
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
has 59.08 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
has 59.06 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, money, women
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