Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other? A: Nothing. They have never met.
What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf.