The best dirty jokes

Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
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has 58.21 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish." The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka." When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her. It was the best vodka they'd ever had. The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?" "Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? He's down to four butts a day.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, family
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 58.18 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
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has 58.16 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
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has 58.15 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 58.00 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dirty, school
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