The best dirty jokes

Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Vote: has 35.12 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
Vote: has 34.94 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

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Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
Vote: has 34.57 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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A 7-year-old boy and a 40-year old man are walking together in a dark forest. The young boy says, "I'm afraid..." The 40-year-old man replies," You're afraid?! I have to walk out of here alone!"
Vote: has 33.96 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
Vote: has 33.91 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
Vote: has 33.70 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call an afghan virgin Mever bin laid on
Vote: has 33.40 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

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There is a four story building. On the fourth story there is a butcher, on the third story there is a guy with a really long dick, on the second story there is a painter who likes to paint things green, and on the first story there is a guy who loves to eat pickles. So one day, the guy on the third story had a problem, his dick was too hot so he stuck it out the window. Then the butcher thought it was salami and he chopped it off. It then fell down to the second story were the painter painted it green and accidentally threw it out the window and fell down in the pickle jar of the first story. Suddenly the guy in the first story picked the painted piece of dick from the jar and ate it. He then told his wife: Ohh this pickle is yummy, especially with the white filling!
Vote: has 32.32 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

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I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!
Vote: has 31.97 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A: Fuck if I know
Vote: has 31.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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