He came into my room late at night.
He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left.
It was terrible.
It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
How do you make a snooker table laugh.
Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
Are you an elevator?
Cause I wanna go down on you.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex?
A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong.
Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy."
"Like what?" asked Fozzie.
"Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't."
Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that?
You're not a prude or anything."
"No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
"For love on the first sight, there's a tremendous medicine!"
"What medicine?"
"To get another look...!"