The best dirty jokes

What's 72? 69 with 3 people watching!
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
Vote: has 55.88 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A girl was pampering a horse with her hand while watching display of the horses, suddenly she touched the genital of the horse. The excited horse screeched, jumped and ran away very fast. The horse’s guard faced the girl and said, “Ma’am please do the same to me, so I can run, chase and retrieve my boss’s horse.”
Vote: has 55.87 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?" Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus." Patient: "What happened?" Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Give me the bad news first." Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them." Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?" Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, hospital
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: has 55.51 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, money, women
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote: has 55.50 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dirty, kids, party, white people
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote: has 55.37 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, flirt, health, sex
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama