The best dirty jokes

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Vote:
has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, travel, women
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Vote:
has 54.05 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
Vote:
has 53.89 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Vote:
has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
Vote:
has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
Vote:
has 53.60 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A girl was pampering a horse with her hand while watching display of the horses, suddenly she touched the genital of the horse. The excited horse screeched, jumped and ran away very fast. The horse’s guard faced the girl and said, “Ma’am please do the same to me, so I can run, chase and retrieve my boss’s horse.”
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why did the lumber truck stop? A: To let the lumber jack off.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
Vote:
has 53.57 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: age, catholic, dirty, priest, sex
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote:
has 53.51 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, dirty
<<<72737475
More jokes →
Page 72 of 96.