Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A: The 19th hole.
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common? A: Both take it in the rear.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.