The best dirty jokes

One day a mom and her son went to the zoo. There they saw two monkeys having sex. The son asked "What are they doing?". The mom said "Ohh they are making frosting", then they saw hippos doing it then he said "Mom what are they doing?" "Making frosting" she said. Later that night he saw there mom doing it. In the morning he said "Mom you and dad were making frosting so i ate it!"
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The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
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Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
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Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a toilet? A: The toilet smells good when it gets cleaned.
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What is the geographical definition of s*x? Ans: It is an action done by the polland in the holland between the thailand with the little help of greece.
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What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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