The best dirty jokes

If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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has 55.44 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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has 55.44 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners? A zipper!
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
What do dogs and women have in common? They both like 12-inch bones.
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has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 54.90 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
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