The best dirty jokes

Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
Vote: has 49.54 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Vote: has 49.51 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
Vote: has 49.41 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Vote: has 49.12 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Dough Nuts!
Vote: has 49.00 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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WTF? = Where's The Food?
Vote: has 49.00 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 49.00 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, lesbian