The best dirty jokes

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
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has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, travel, women
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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has 54.05 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
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has 54.04 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, sport
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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has 53.89 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
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has 53.67 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, Santa, wife
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
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has 53.60 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: Why did the lumber truck stop? A: To let the lumber jack off.
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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