Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.