Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Dough Nuts!
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.