The best dirty jokes

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 53.78 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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has 53.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, heaven, knock-knock, sex
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
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has 53.70 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
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has 53.67 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, Santa, wife
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
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has 53.60 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, party
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom...
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, travel
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
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