Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand. The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something. "What are you looking for?" Billy asked. "Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied. So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class. Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate. After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
Q: What did one boob say to the other boob? A: "It is nice to see you partner."
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.