The best dirty jokes

Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
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has 47.87 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, sex
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, new year
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
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has 47.69 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: age, catholic, dirty, priest, sex
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lawyer
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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has 47.62 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money
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