What's the only thing white girls swallow? Starbucks.
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Do you work at a cattery? Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.