The best dirty jokes

Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.
Vote: has 42.00 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
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There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Vote: has 41.52 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
Vote: has 41.41 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
Vote: has 40.46 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Vote: has 40.32 % from 193 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Vote: has 40.17 % from 95 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, women
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Vote: has 39.74 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Vote: has 39.60 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex


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