Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds? A: Because there are twenty of them!
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina? A: A woman.
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.