The best dirty jokes

Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
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has 46.90 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, science, Yo mama
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!
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has 46.53 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, viagra
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 46.53 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds? A: Because there are twenty of them!
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has 46.47 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, dirty, kids, music
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
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has 46.43 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 46.11 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 45.53 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
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