A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina? A: A woman.
What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"