Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.