Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds? A: Because there are twenty of them!
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom...
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!