The best dirty jokes

Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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has 46.16 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, sex, stupid, Yo mama
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
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has 45.91 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
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has 45.53 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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has 45.43 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, sex, work
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 45.25 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, geography, sex, technology
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