The best dirty jokes

Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Vote:
has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Vote:
has 46.90 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Vote:
has 46.43 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, sex, work
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina? A: A woman.
Vote:
has 46.22 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, vulgar, women
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Vote:
has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
Vote:
has 45.95 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
Vote:
has 45.91 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says "If my proof falls then I rome through the halls." Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob. The man is confused and says "what are you doing?" She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some." The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did. Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good. The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping "Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch." Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?" She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
Vote:
has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: couple, dirty, men, stupid, women
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote:
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
Vote:
has 45.26 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty
<<<82838485
More jokes →
Page 82 of 95.