Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: With four skin-divers.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)