Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!