The best dirty jokes

I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
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has 44.68 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
Nothing spreads easier than butter, except for yo mommas legs.
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has 44.51 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty
North America, few hundred years ago. An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe. Breathes in, breathes out. His son comes up to him: Daddy, I have a question Well, what is it? Why do we have such long names? Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar. Our names come from nature. When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew. When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset. So that why she got the name Red Sunset. So, do you have any more questions, Fucking Bison?
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
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has 44.47 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
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has 44.47 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, life, men
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
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has 43.44 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, music, sex
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