What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.
A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him.
"We put sugar and cream on ours."
Q: What book do women like the most?
A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak.
In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable.
After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the balls are just there for decoration.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
Vote:
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through.
The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?"
The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote:
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
North America, few hundred years ago.
An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe.
Breathes in, breathes out.
His son comes up to him:
Daddy, I have a question
Well, what is it?
Why do we have such long names?
Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar.
Our names come from nature.
When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew.
When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset.
So that why she got the name Red Sunset.
So, do you have any more questions, Fucking Bison?