The best dirty jokes

A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
North America, few hundred years ago. An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe. Breathes in, breathes out. His son comes up to him: Daddy, I have a question Well, what is it? Why do we have such long names? Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar. Our names come from nature. When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew. When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset. So that why she got the name Red Sunset. So, do you have any more questions, Fucking Bison?
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, internet, sex
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, sex, work
Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
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has 44.47 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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has 44.47 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, flirt, sex
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
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has 43.44 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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