The best dirty jokes

A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says "If my proof falls then I rome through the halls." Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob. The man is confused and says "what are you doing?" She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some." The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did. Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good. The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping "Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch." Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?" She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
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has 41.30 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: couple, dirty, men, stupid, women
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
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has 41.24 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
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has 41.08 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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has 40.93 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, geography, sex, technology
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
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has 40.81 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: catholic, dirty, priest, teen
Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
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has 40.77 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
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has 40.70 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand. The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something. "What are you looking for?" Billy asked. "Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied. So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
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has 40.61 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
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