I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand? A: A brunette with bad breath.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: With four skin-divers.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.