My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"...
its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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How does a gay man fake an orgasm?
He spits on his partners back.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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How do lesbians handle their liquor?
By the ears.
(Lick her)
A 7-year-old boy and a 40-year old man are walking together in a dark forest.
The young boy says, "I'm afraid..." The 40-year-old man replies," You're afraid?!
I have to walk out of here alone!"
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter?
A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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