My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
How does a gay man fake an orgasm? He spits on his partners back.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
A 7-year-old boy and a 40-year old man are walking together in a dark forest. The young boy says, "I'm afraid..." The 40-year-old man replies," You're afraid?! I have to walk out of here alone!"
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.