Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote:
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water?
A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote:
Lady, how many sex partners have you had?
Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Vote:
I've some bread dough in my pants.
Wanna see if it rises?