What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Vote:
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
How does a gay man fake an orgasm?
He spits on his partners back.
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"...
its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote:
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.