A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Q: Do you know what 69 is?
A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
Vote:
How do lesbians handle their liquor?
By the ears.
(Lick her)
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"...
its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!