What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter?
A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Roses are red
violets are blue,
I have never tried
So can I stick it up you?
Vote:
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Q: When does a cub become a boy scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Vote:
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?