What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’