What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night?
A: Pastor Bedtime.
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
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