What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable. I just go up and down.