The best dirty jokes

Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A: Fuck if I know
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has 32.82 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, food
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
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has 32.59 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
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has 32.59 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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has 32.47 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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has 32.39 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
There is a four story building. On the fourth story there is a butcher, on the third story there is a guy with a really long dick, on the second story there is a painter who likes to paint things green, and on the first story there is a guy who loves to eat pickles. So one day, the guy on the third story had a problem, his dick was too hot so he stuck it out the window. Then the butcher thought it was salami and he chopped it off. It then fell down to the second story were the painter painted it green and accidentally threw it out the window and fell down in the pickle jar of the first story. Suddenly the guy in the first story picked the painted piece of dick from the jar and ate it. He then told his wife: Ohh this pickle is yummy, especially with the white filling!
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has 32.29 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
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has 32.20 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do you call an afghan virgin Mever bin laid on
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I need your help making a cream sauce.
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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