Joke #8466

I've some bread dough in my pants. Wanna see if it rises?

Q: What did one boob say to the other boob? A: "It is nice to see you partner."

Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.

Q: What are three words you dead the most while making love? A: "Honey, I'm home."

Bill and John, in their 80's decided to visit the Madam for one last sexual encounter. The Madam noticed Bill and John approaching, she quickly prepared 2 blow-up dolls, placing one in each room on the bed. Bill and John told the Madam that "We are here for the last time". The Madam sent Bill upstairs to the room on the left and John to the room on the right. After an hour Bill and John left the rooms, paid the Madam and left. Bill and John were very quiet until Bill said: "How was yours"? John said, "I think she was dead". John said, "How was yours"? Bill said, "I think she was a witch". John replied, "How did you know she was a witch"? Bill said, "Well I got on top of her, bit her nipple, she farted and flew out the window."

A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry." The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??" One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!

Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass? A: He becomes a toblerone!