The best dirty jokes

"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
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has 30.27 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
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has 30.22 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets? A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
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has 30.19 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, food
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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has 30.14 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, food
There is a four story building. On the fourth story there is a butcher, on the third story there is a guy with a really long dick, on the second story there is a painter who likes to paint things green, and on the first story there is a guy who loves to eat pickles. So one day, the guy on the third story had a problem, his dick was too hot so he stuck it out the window. Then the butcher thought it was salami and he chopped it off. It then fell down to the second story were the painter painted it green and accidentally threw it out the window and fell down in the pickle jar of the first story. Suddenly the guy in the first story picked the painted piece of dick from the jar and ate it. He then told his wife: Ohh this pickle is yummy, especially with the white filling!
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has 30.07 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
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has 30.07 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.
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has 29.96 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I need your help making a cream sauce.
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has 29.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class. Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate. After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drunk, school, stupid, time
Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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has 28.38 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty
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