The best disgusting jokes

Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Vote:
has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ginger
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
Vote:
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, game
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Vote:
has 61.95 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: computer, disgusting, sex
Once upon a time, there was a very happy, long-married couple who ran a small farm. They loved each other and all, there was just one problem – the guy farted incredibly, and enjoyed ripping seriously loud ones in bed especially. The wife complained for years, pleaded – in vain. "One day, you'll spill your guts out, you mark my words!" was the lady's frequent closing warning. Then one Thanksgiving morning, gutting the turkey, she had a stroke of genius. She took all the turkey's guts and went to their bedroom and quietly slipped them under the still sleeping man's covers. "That'll teach him!" she thought with satisfaction and went back to her work. At 10 the man was still nowhere to be seen – quite shocking for a farmer – and she was starting to worry when finally her husband came down – walking a little strange, wearing an even stranger expression. "You were right about the farting, Ida," he panted, "I'm ashamed to admit that I did fart my guts out. But with the help of our Lord and these two fingers, all is right again!"
Vote:
has 61.91 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, fart, Thanksgiving, time
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
Vote:
has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, school
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, fart
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
Vote:
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
Vote:
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: bar, cowboy, dirty, disgusting, horse
<<<18192021
More jokes →
Page 18 of 49.