The best disgusting jokes

Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, school
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
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has 63.79 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales. The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, "Get off your horse." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, "Now drop your pants." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I s**t. Then he says, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, "Drop your pants." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He s**ts. Then I say, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, disgusting
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 63.30 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, hipster
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
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has 62.82 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: computer, disgusting, sex
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