The best disgusting jokes

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, holiday
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Vote: has 49.57 % from 121 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, love
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, drunk
3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Vote: has 48.70 % from 274 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, time, wife, work