Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air. Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."