Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle.
They made it to an uninhabited island.
Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing.
Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing.
Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Vote:
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
Vote:
How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote:
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
Vote:
Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
Vote:
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Vote:
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
Vote:
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote:
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
"People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."
"An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."
"Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."
"A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."
"The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."
"It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."
"You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."
"If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."
"Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."
"Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
Vote: