The best disgusting jokes

Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
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More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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More jokes about: disgusting
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
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More jokes about: disgusting, fart
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, work
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
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More jokes about: disgusting
Fart Glossary: ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink. ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out. BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer. JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape. DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it. GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it. HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one. SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes. TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'. OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells. BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out. ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp. NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!" U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, disgusting, fart
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
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More jokes about: disgusting