Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
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Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten
inch penis?
A: "Partially disabled."
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I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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