A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.