The best disgusting jokes

Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Fart Glossary: ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink. ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out. BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer. JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape. DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it. GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it. HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one. SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes. TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'. OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells. BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out. ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp. NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!" U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, fart
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 50.68 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting
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