What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.