The best disgusting jokes

What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ugly, Yo mama
One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, hunting, money
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, school
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 47.24 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
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has 46.90 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, dentist, disgusting, food
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