What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me now.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."