Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."