The best disgusting jokes

3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
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Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
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More jokes about: disgusting, time, wife, work
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, time
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, disgusting, sex
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
Vote: has 48.08 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid


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