What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.