Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common? They both shower after three periods!
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!