Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.