The best disgusting jokes

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy. The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
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has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, marriage, wedding, wife
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dating, disgusting
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, drug
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drunk
What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
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