Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party? They gave him the cold shoulder!
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!