The best disgusting jokes

Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari. "Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?" "Because I feel like it." "Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari." "Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up. "I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?" "It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, disgusting
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, chocolate, disgusting, easter, food
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
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has 48.68 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, time, wife, work
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, women
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