Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body?
My dick.
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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder!
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Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
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What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.
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A blonde buys a used sports car.
However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop.
The blonde calls a tow truck.
The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again.
"What was the matter?" she asks.
"Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies.
Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
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Why are contipated folks unkind and rude?
Cause they don't give a crap!
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