A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party? They gave him the cold shoulder!
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.