What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party? They gave him the cold shoulder!
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!