Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated?
"Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
There was a man who just got out of the army.
He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house.
He told the women, "Gimme anything you got."
So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside."
She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom.
10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again.
He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?"
She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a maxi pad.
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.