The best disgusting jokes

Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, disgusting, sex
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
Vote: has 47.72 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, military, money
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, god, life
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, ugly, Yo mama
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
Vote: has 46.87 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
Vote: has 46.63 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, gay


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