The best disgusting jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 50.59 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: bar, disgusting
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
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has 50.33 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, love
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?'' "Hell no," Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. "Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?" "I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants," Jeff said. So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, "I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!" "I didn't." Jeff said. "They're your pants."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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has 49.93 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, holiday
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