The best disgusting jokes

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 49.76 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, food
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common? They both shower after three periods!
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari. "Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?" "Because I feel like it." "Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari." "Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up. "I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?" "It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, disgusting
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
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