The best disgusting jokes

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
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has 48.40 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, gay
Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drunk
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dating, disgusting
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
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