The best disgusting jokes

How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, women
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drunk
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
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