The best disgusting jokes

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, football
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, holiday
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Vote: has 49.57 % from 121 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, love
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, disgusting
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, drunk


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