The best disgusting jokes

"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, sport, travel
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, women
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drunk
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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