The best disgusting jokes

Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
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More jokes about: disgusting, fart
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
Vote: has 48.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, gay
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
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More jokes about: disgusting
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
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More jokes about: disgusting
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, military, money