The best disgusting jokes

I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me now.
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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More jokes about: disgusting, football
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote: has 50.49 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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More jokes about: bar, disgusting
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
Vote: has 50.35 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex