Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!