What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
A lady goes to the doctor, and says: "Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first." So the lady takes her clothes off. Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back." A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it. The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?" And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"