What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
A lady goes to the doctor, and says: "Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first." So the lady takes her clothes off. Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back." A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it. The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?" And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Q: How do you eat a frog? A: You put one leg behind each ear.