The best disgusting jokes

A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
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has 44.97 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, drug
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drunk
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ugly, Yo mama
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
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has 44.48 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, time
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