The best disgusting jokes

"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, disgusting
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, nurse
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, time
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
Vote: has 37.45 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, health
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Vote: has 36.11 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
Vote: has 35.94 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting