The best disgusting jokes

"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: bartender, disgusting
A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
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has 44.95 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, time
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?" Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god
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