A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common? They both shower after three periods!
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.