How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common? They both shower after three periods!
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!