What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
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What's green and sits in the corner?
That same baby three weeks later.
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"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle.
They made it to an uninhabited island.
Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing.
Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing.
Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
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How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
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What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common?
They both shower after three periods!
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Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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