What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.