What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.