I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common? They both shower after three periods!
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"