The best disgusting jokes

Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, dentist, disgusting, food
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common? They both shower after three periods!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari. "Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?" "Because I feel like it." "Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari." "Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up. "I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?" "It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, disgusting
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, marriage
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, mean, men
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