Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar. What's grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face. You want to know what's grosser than that? When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner. But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.