Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar. What's grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face. You want to know what's grosser than that? When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner. But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.