Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
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Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying.
Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby.
I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar?
A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it’s head.
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Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse?
He got a twat in the face.
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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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