A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.