Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
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There was a man who just got out of the army.
He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house.
He told the women, "Gimme anything you got."
So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside."
She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom.
10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again.
He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?"
She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
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Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
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Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?
A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup?
Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
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