Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
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Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar?
A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse?
He got a twat in the face.
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A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere.
Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned.
"Finally, some company!" he thought.
While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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