Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!