The best doctor jokes

Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, mother in law
"Doctor, I have a problem..." "What’s your problem?" "I pee in my sleep, every night!" "Why?" "Oh, well... Every night, a little devil visits me in my sleep and asks me; “Did we pee today?”. "And, that’s it? The solution is so simple.. Listen to me! If the little devil comes again you’re gonna answer; 'Yeah, dude, I did!'" "And that will cut it off?" "Sure! Like a knife!" At night, the little devil showed up on the patient’s dream and whispered; "Did we pee today?" "Yeah, dude, I did!" said angry the guy. And little devil replied: "What about poop?"
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has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
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has 68.71 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, doctor, wife
Patient: "I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors." Doctor: "Why didn’t you come to me earlier?"
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, money, time
The psychiatrist asks his patient: "Do you really think that you are a horse?" The patient: "Yes." The Doctor: "Ok, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The patient: "It's ok, I have enough money." Doctor: "And how it is possible?" The patient: "Because I have won three times horse races."
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: doctor, horse, money
Q: What is another name for a gynecologist? A: A private investigator.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: doctor, work
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer." Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better." The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
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has 68.49 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: doctor, game, soccer, sport
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, life
Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: computer, doctor, stupid, technology, Yo mama
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
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has 68.14 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat, doctor, political
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