A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer." Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better." The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist” The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.” The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
Q: What is another name for a gynecologist? A: A private investigator.
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Patient: "Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill." Doctor: "Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet."
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."