When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”.
“Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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A man goes to the doctor. "Doctor, that medicine you gave me isn't working. Is there anything else I could try?".
"Fill out this tax form," suggests the doctor.
"How's that going to help me?", asks the man.
"I'm not sure," replies the doctor, "but some of my patients say it gives them relief."
