Joke #6485

When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
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A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
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Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
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