The best drug jokes

A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: drug, life
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: drug, stupid, work, Yo mama
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, drug, money, tax
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, drug, women
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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has 55.68 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
A 90 year old women goes to the doctor. Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more. Well take these pills every day and come back in a week. Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well! Oh very well , now about your hearing...
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, drug, old people
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: drug, political, weed
There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”" The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine." The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, life
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