The best drug jokes

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: drug, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.46 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Drug test? What kind of drugs are we testing?
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drug
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? A: HIGH-Definition.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, drug
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: drug, stupid, work, Yo mama
Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: drug, life
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?" The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, life