The best drug jokes

Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: drug, health, life
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: drug, weed, Yo mama
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Vote: has 63.99 % from 158 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: drug, sex
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, drug, travel
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Vote: has 62.46 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, drug
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: drug, stupid, work, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, drug, stupid, Yo mama