Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well.
The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?"
The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed?
A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?"
Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it."
Doctor: "Why?"
Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?"
Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!”
Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.”
She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”
His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”