The best drug jokes

A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: drug, political, weed
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: drug, weed, Yo mama
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? A: HIGH-Definition.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, drug
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: drug, weed
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: drug, stupid, work, Yo mama
Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: drug, life