The best drug jokes

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, stupid, Yo mama
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.88 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed." Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
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has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, flirt, weed
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: drug, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs.
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: drug, ethnic, fitness
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? A: HIGH-Definition.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, drug
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: drug, weed, Yo mama
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: drug, weed