The best drug jokes

Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine. Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, drug, weed
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
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has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex, Valentines day
There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”" The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine." The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, life
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, drug
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving. The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?" The drunk man, "What drugs?"
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, drunk
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
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