When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
Yo mamma is so fat when she went to the movie theater people said "Look at king Kong in 3D."
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a bakery.
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. "Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked. "Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she puts in tampons with a bazooka.
Yo' Mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"