3 things which change women:
1) I love U
2) I liquidated to your account
3) U have lost weight
The last one had been some fatalities!
I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale.
They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.
So I asked the owner if he had a pair.
He shook his head.
"I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."
Vote:
Your mom is so fat when she jumps all the oceans disappear.
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a bakery.
Yo mamma so fat she went to Japan and Godzilla said "DAMN" and ran away.
Yo' Mama is so fat, a cop saw her standing alone and told her to break it up.
Yo mama so fat that she fell over and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.
Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!"
"Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive."
"I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?"
"Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are."
"I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"
"Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"