A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.
Yo momma so fat her legs are like spoiled milk, white and chunky.
Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.