The best fat jokes

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.72 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, fat, marriage
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, fat, food, women
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a bakery.
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has 70.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness
Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, stupid, technology
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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has 69.62 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, technology, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
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has 69.59 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. "Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked. "Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fat
Yo mamma so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
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has 69.55 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: fat, heaven, insulting, Yo mama