A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist.
The woman asks for some good advices.
The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.
"Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked.
"Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."
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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear.
She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
Yo' Mama is so fat, instead lint in her belly button, she's gathered full sweaters.
Your mom is so fat when she jumps all the oceans disappear.
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me.
She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
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Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
Yo mama so fat that when she works out too long she starts sweating cooking oil.