The best fat jokes

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.21 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
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has 70.11 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, mother in law
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, god, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
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has 69.90 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: asian, fat, Yo mama
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like shit.
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has 69.46 % from 291 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
Yo Mama's so fat that when she bends over, the whole country enters daylight saving.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama is so fat when she ordered a waterbed, I gave her the atlantic ocean.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. "Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked. "Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fat
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, fat, food, women
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