A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one. The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon... With the Yellow version.