Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
Yo mama so ugly, she's the reason Mario jumps high.
Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek? A: Marco Polo.
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out. Then the ball hits you.
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."